A girlfriend of mine posted a great article to Facebook the other day. We hadn’t had a chance to speak in a few weeks and hadn’t had a chance to see each other for a little while either. She has a 9 month old and is a first time Mama; I have my 2 year old and 10 month old, and it always seems chaotic over here. I have other friends that I yearn to talk to and see more of too; friends that I used to talk to at least once a day, sometimes more, and now we are lucky if we catch each other on the phone for ten minutes on our way to pick up the kids, after a full day of work, on our way towards home or errands, before we need to run the dishwasher, do a couple of loads of laundry, make dinner, clean up (as much as we can), pack the kiddos bags for the next day, and try to connect with our spouses for a bit before we collapse into a crumpled exhausted heap on the bed.
The article my friend posted was a reflection on how we all feel as Mama’s (I assume most Mama’s feel this way anyway…) Juggling life and kids doesn’t allow much time for social lives anymore, let alone time for ourselves and our own hobbies and pursuits. Don’t get me wrong, being a mom is literally the best thing in the world for me, and I wouldn’t trade all my days of cleaning runny noses, cutting up food into the tiniest of pieces, and changing diapers for anything… because all those things also come with the most amazing smiles and giggles, and hugs and ‘I love you’s’ from the tiniest sweetest little people on the planet, who gaze up at you and look at you as the center of their universe, and that’s a pretty damn amazing thing.
My friend and her husband and their son actually had a chance to pop over today for a couple hours. It was totally impromptu and totally fantastic. It was low key and low stress and we were able to just say hi and play with our kiddos and really just check in for a few; which was so great when those encounters are so few and far between these days. Before she left, she said the most wonderful thing that anyone can hear. She told me and my husband that we were doing such a great job. How wonderful is that? As parents, we always try to do what we think is best for our kids and our family. But half the time we’re totally winging it; because every kid and every family and every situation is different. (And I think we left the parenting instruction manual they give you at the hospital, par for the course…) Parenting is such a journey and you learn so much as you go that you hope you’re not screwing it up. So how wonderful is it to hear someone say, ‘you guys are doing good stuff here’ to help boost your confidence a bit.
Suffice it to say, I’ve been reflecting a lot about Motherhood and parenting and friendships and being good to each other, and to ourselves. So with Mother’s Day coming up, and all of us needing a little boost, and probably to be a little more forgiving to ourselves and the people in our lives that are also just trying to make it as parents, here’s some great reads from around the web.
I Suck At Being A Friend Right Now (this is the article my girlfriend posted)